Apple Says No To Sexy Time

While the Internet may very well be for porn, Apple is putting its foot down on sexy shenanigans when it comes to its App Store. Sure, it’s not news that pornographic material or even simple nudity was a no-no from the official app supplier, but word on the street is that Apple is out to ban all apps of any titillating nature. Even the hint of sexual content is not likely to make the cut.

The whistle-blowing on this Apple policy-in-the-works is the developer of Wooble (an app that lets you put not safe for work “realistic” jiggle on your own photo collection) who is none-to-pleased to be punted from the App Store. According to the developer, App Store reviewers are enforcing a policy that “there will be no more applications that are for any purpose of excitement or titillation”.

In fact, the developer was even more specific on what’s likely off the menu for your iPhone:

1. No images of women in bikinis (Ice skating tights are not OK either)

2. No images of men in bikinis! (I didn’t ask about Ice Skating tights for men)

3. No skin (he seriously said this) (I asked if a Burqa was OK, and the Apple guy got angry)

4. No silhouettes that indicate that Wobble can be used for wobbling boobs (yes – I am serious, we have to remove the silhouette in this pic [not included])

5. No sexual connotations or innuendo: boobs, babes, booty, sex – all banned

6. Nothing that can be sexually arousing!! (I doubt many people could get aroused with the pic above [not included] but those puritanical guys at Apple must get off on pretty mundane things to find Wobble “overtly sexual”!)

7. No apps will be approved that in any way imply sexual content (not sure how Playboy is still in the store, but …)

Now I can understand how a developer might get pretty ticked off at getting their work banned from a massive distributor such as the App Store, but it is Apple’s store and it’s free to sell what it wants–it’s even free to change the rules mid-way through the game.

As for being upset as an Apple customer? It looks like you can’t have your iPhone and boobies too… at least, not easily. If you don’t like it, there are a few other companies out there that would love to have your patronage. The Internet may be the wild west and information (even the sexy kind) may want to be free, but you’re in Appletown, kid. And in Appletown, the sheriff has his own morality that you either take… or leave.

[via Gizmodo]